Venice is sensitive and aware. Sometimes I just don't know how to answer all her questions! So, as an example, here's what I dealt with today:
I come into the living room and see Venice visibly upset (she is going through something right now, more anxiety than usual, we're not sure why, phase or what...) I ask her what's wrong and she's very upset about her favorite stuffed animal (Daddy Bear). As background, I have also made a rule that if she wants to get any new stuffed animal, she has to donate 5 stuffed animals (of her choice) because she has so many as it is (they don't all fit on her bed or in her case).
As we talked, her "what if" questions were non-stop. I could not make her feel safe or satisfied with any of my answers. At the end of most of these strings of conversations, I had to end each one with, "that won't happen", which wasn't satisfying to her and would launch her into the next question. In the end, we did a search on Google to find another Daddy Bear to see if we could at least get another one, we found a similar one without a pocket, so hopefully that has made her a little calmer.
1. What if the Daddy went to the store and bought me a stuffed animal and I had to give away 5 animals. So I picked the 5, then you gave them away and then I realized they were my favorite ones?
(Answer: we won't give away any you want to keep and Daddy knows not to buy you any stuffed animals. We'll make sure he remembers.)
2. What if Daddy Bear got stolen and the police said they didn't care because it was just a stuffed animal?
(Answer: Daddy Bear is sentimental, priceless to you, but to a robber, not worth anything. They will take jewelry, TVs, computers, cameras, etc. things they can sell.)
Follow up question: What if the robber has a daughter who likes bears, so he takes it?
(Answer: We'll hunt them down and find him.)
3. What if when I'm in college I don't love Daddy Bear anymore?
(Answer: then it will be ok. Whatever you decide to do with Daddy Bear, you will be ok with it.)
Follow up question: But I love him so much right now.
(Answer: Remember Toy Story 3? Remember the boy outgrew his toys and gave them to someone else to love?)
Follow up question: But I can't stand it if I didn't love him anymore. How can I make sure I love him forever?
(Answer: Sometimes we fall in and out of love with people. But with family, we always love them, no matter what. Daddy Bear is family, you will love him forever.)
Follow up question: But what if I turn out like Henry and I betray my family? (He's a character in a book we're reading who betrayed his family)
(Answer: Henry made bad choices. You will not make any choices like that.)
Now, WHAT THE HELL... HOW DID WE GET HERE TO THIS NEXT QUESTION, I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER!
4. What if you were in the middle of nowhere and the bad guys asked you to pick only one family member you could save, who would you save?
(Answer: I didn't say anything.)
Follow up question: Well, what would you do?
(Answer: I wouldn't be able to choose anyone. I would probably crawl into a ball and cry.)
5. What if Daddy Bear got lost or stolen. How would we ever replace him?
(Answer: We wouldn't replace him. He is irreplaceable. We would try to find another one like him, but he wouldn't be Daddy Bear.)
THIS IS WHEN I went online and found a link to a new Daddy Bear to show her. $18 for a new one, prime shipping with Amazon.
Dinner time!
